Being a single mother in the 21st century is full of pitfalls. Many women believe that they are too old to date, too ugly, too fat, or too “motherly”. While each of these categories has its own cliché’, being a single mother who is dating is not that strange anymore.
Single mothers are known to men as a type of ‘Holy Grail.’ There are rules and expectations that men tend to follow when dating a single mom. However, not every available guy is a good guy. Just as many men have an unwritten code regarding dating single mothers, a single mother needs a guide for dating single men.
Preparation is Key
As old fashioned as it sounds, a single mother needs to plan her work and work her plan. When you are preparing to go out on a date, prepare a checklist of things that you need to get done. Basics such as emergency phone numbers, dinner for the babysitter and kids, bedtimes, and household rules are always important, but don’t forget a checklist for yourself as well.
Consider what you are going to wear. Being a single mother does not have to mean you are dead, but think carefully about what you want your dress to say about you. If you and your date are going to the movies and out for coffee afterward, do you really need to wear the slinky, black dress with stiletto heels? It may have been a while since you were interested in a man, but it might not be appropriate on the first date to give the perception that you are a sex kitten.
Be Truthful
As tempting as it may be to color you in a different light, being truthful with a date is the only way to go. Everyone has been caught in small white lies before. Most men will be forgiving of slight ‘embellishments’ that are told. However, no man wants to be out-and-out lied to.
If your date does not know that you are a single mother, it is imperative to let him know as quickly as possible. It’s archaic to think that a man will simply refuse to see you if you have children. With the divorce rates over 50%, even a man who’s bad at math can figure he is going to end up dating a single mom.
Being truthful, though, does not mean that you have to bowl him over. You can give him the facts without talking about your kids the remainder of the night. A date is about getting to know one another, not getting to know the kids.
Don’t Dwell on the Ex
As simple as this sounds, many first dates never get out of the gate because of this. No one, male or female wants to hear the sordid details of your past relationships. If you cannot enjoy a date without mentioning your ex over and over, you may need to wait.
Dating for single mothers does not have to be difficult. Once you are ready to begin dating, ensure that you have a plan and that you follow it. Being organized, truthful, and emotionally healthy are qualities that most single men cannot resist.